Sunday Sentiments: Week 5

I know I've been sparse lately - I wish I could be posting and designing more.  Most of you know my husband has cancer... and if you can believe it - we are in month #20 of our battle.  He was in the hospital this past week for four days getting a massive dose of in-patient chemo that took over 90 hours to administer.  By day three I had never seen him so sick and it was awful.  As you can imagine, it was a brutal week on him, on me and on the kids.  The physical beating he took was intense... then add the schedule juggling, going back and forth to the hospital every day, coordinating friends to fill in for me and trying to practice spelling words in between - it was sheer madness.  I brought him home on Friday and we've been in full recovery mode since.  Having a cancer patient in your home is sort of like having a tiny newborn baby (a sick one at that).  Not more than an hour or two passes before he needs me, 24/7 - even through the night. I find myself checking on him to see if he's breathing and jump if I hear him stir or faintly call my name. I try to anticipate his needs so he doesn't have to think about them... and it's all very exhausting. Luckily, what little sleep I am getting, is very restful sleep and I believe God is blessing my energy stores beyond measure. 

It's been a long week and, needless to say, finding joy has been a challenge, but you know what?  I can find joy in the fact that he got to come home.  Many patients never get to come home.  We witnessed the chaos surrounding patients that code and don't make it.  His little next door patient-neighbor walked through death's door while we were there - so even during one of our toughest weeks yet, we are very grateful (downright joyful, in fact) that he got to come home.  How can we not find joy in that?  I firmly believe it's up to us to choose joy in any and every circumstance; we all have that choice.  That's why this is one of my favorite quotes... I can't control Eric's cancer, but I can control how I react and feel about it.  I can choose joy because I have faith in God's plan for me, for Eric and for our family.  Choosing joy doesn't take away the pain, but it helps me cope better with it and smile during a time I never imagined I could.


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Valerie said...

Thanks Colette! I really needed to hear this today. Continued thoughts and prayers for you and your family.

AnneMarie said...

Thought you might like to read this: "We cannot always see the end from the beginning. We trust in the Lord and wait upon Him, knowing that in His own time and His own way, He will bring about His miracles."
—Neil L. Andersen, "A Spiritual Work"

Also, while my cousin was going through chemo for breast cancer, she shared the following motto with me, "Hard doesn't have to mean unhappy!"

Many thoughts and prayers to you and your family.

sbreid said...

Thinking of your family often. My sweet brother-in-law did not make it home from his battle with cancer. He returned to Heavenly Father just last night. I will share this with my sister. My best to you in your trials. Keep up your faith!

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RaCeNMoMmY said...

Im in tears reading this. Thanks for sharing your life with us and your testimony. While I don't know your struggle and pain fully, it did remind me of my parents. I remember my mom telling me about how much taking care of dad was like a newborn. He's been in remission 3 years now.
Thanks for reminding us we need to have Joy. We are all fighting some kind of battle and need to remember to take full advantage of the atonement. We need to choose Joy over pain. The Lord sacrificed for us so we don't have to. Something I often need reminded of. Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers! Thank you for all your beautiful printables! and sharing your time and talents with all of us.

Catherine said...

You are a true example of God's love working through you as you lovingly shine to your husband and your family - home and here online!
Blessings and strength to you all!

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